Cry Me to Heaven
by Midnight Delirium
Summary: Sirius had a secret in life that he didn't plan on telling anyone. Her name is Elsie. She is a year older then Harry. Since her father is gone, she is going to Hogwarts so that Dumbledore can take care of her. But one thing is on everyone's mind, Who is h


Cry me to Heaven  
  
Harry trudged through his classes, Life was horrible. Sirius was gone, He, Harry was alone again, and while all this was going on, he was surrounded by people he though cared about him. Ron, Hermione, He used to trust them with every secret and aspect of his life, but now, they were busy with prefect duties, and when they finally did get to talk to each other, it was like Harry once again was on the outside looking in. They had long, drawling inside jokes that only the two of them understood, and Harry felt himself growing more and more distant from his two best friends daily.  
  
The only one he could relate to anymore, strangely enough, was Neville. The other boy who's life had been ruined because of a stupid prophecy, the other boy who watched Sirius die. Given, Neville didn't know Sirius as Harry had, but the fact that the other boy watched him fall was somewhat comforting, even though it stirred bad memories.  
  
If he had really wanted to, Harry guessed, he could have talked to Lupin, but he seemed in worse shape then Harry was. I guess friendship was thicker then some ties, right?  
  
What made it worse, was that everyone who knew what had happened was treating him oddly...nice. Professor McGonagall, every now and then, shot Harry a small, forced smile. Dumbledore was once again looking at him, but what Harry saw in his wise old eyes was pity. Even Snape was kind to him, helping Harry out on the many occasions that he would get a potion wrong. It made Harry sick. The fact that Sirius was gone was made worse by people's never ending pity for him.  
  
He pulled himself into a chair in Professor McGonagall's classroom, he was a good twenty minutes early for class. He put his head down on his desk and closed his eyes. His scar prickled, but he didn't care anymore. The world could crumble around him and he would just sit there and sleep. Sleep had come more easily for him now. He forced himself to sleep a lot, knowing that sleep was the closest thing a living person could get to death without actually dying. He wouldn't mind dying at all, he would actually welcome it. He would welcome the possibility to see Sirius again, with his mother and father and, yes, even Diggory. He wanted to apologize to Sirius and Cedric, and to his parents, it was his fault they died. It was his fault for being in that stupid prophecy.  
  
He felt consciousness slipping away from him and embraced the quiet, warm hue of sleep willingly, not caring if he ever woke up. His breath was calm, and soothing himself in his small place between asleep and awake. He felt someone join him, he regretfully opened his eye to see Hermione sitting next to him, chatting happily with Ron. They were laughing and when he watched them, he saw Hermione's hand fall to Ron's knee in a playful slap. The red head turned beat red and looked away from Hermione laughing. Harry grumbled, that's not what he needed right now. He wanted to be alone. He turned his head so that he was facing away from the flirting pair and instead faced the far wall. The bell rang and he slowly opened his eyes, looking around. He sat up quietly, not caring if his hair was more tousled then before.  
  
Professor McGonagall reviewed with them the basic way to transform an earthworm into a python, which was much harder now that they were in N.E.W.T. transfiguration. He has received straight O's on all of his O.W.L.'s, with the exception of Potions, where he got an 'A'. He didn't mind, he didn't even care much for achieving his career choice now, he didn't see himself living after Hogwarts.  
  
After Transfiguration, He returned to the Gryffindor common room, deciding to skip lunch that day. He curled up in the empty common room, falling asleep in a large golden lounge chair. A voice awoke him. He opened his eyes to see a head peering in through the fire.  
  
"Harry? Are you awake? We need to talk..." said Remus Lupin's head from the fire. Lupin looked exhausted, the bags under his eyes could have held a ton of sand and he seemed paler then he had months earlier.  
  
"Yes, I'm awake" Harry said, moving into a sitting position. He stood and walked over to the fire. Lupin seemed to be somewhat frantic. "What's the matter?"  
  
"You might want to sit down, Harry, this may come as a shock." *********  
  
"I have a what!?!" Harry asked, life slightly coming into his voice.  
  
"A god-sister" said Lupin, in a panicky fashion. He, too, hadn't been himself since Sirius's death, but then again, neither had Harry. And this new news made him even less close to normal.  
  
"Why was I not told that Sirius had a DAUGHTER!?!" Harry snapped, looking angrily into the flames.  
  
"Calm down, Harry, I just found out myself" said Lupin, "I cam to tell you that you are going with me to pick her up from Kings Cross in London."  
  
"I don't want to go and get some girl that I just found out is my god- sister from London just because you say so!" snapped Harry, he was tired of having all of these things thrust upon him, "What do I have to do? Hold her hand as she walks across the street too!?! She can't be much older then three, four, maybe. Sirius wasn't out of Azkaban for that long before-" He cut himself off, he couldn't say it. Saying it would make it final, saying it would make it true that Sirius was really gone.  
  
"Harry," Lupin said, "You are right, Sirius wasn't out that long before...before he...passed behind the veil" apparently Lupin couldn't say it either, "But you are wrong. She is a year older then you, and you are coming so that she can come to Hogwarts with you." Harry scowled, this wasn't what he wanted or needed, another little bimbo to come to Hogwarts.  
  
"And what makes you think I'll go?" *********  
  
Harry growled, standing in the middle of the crowd at Kings Cross Train Station. He glared over at Lupin, who's attitude was happier then he had seen him in months. As much as that made Harry slightly happier, the fact that Lupin had blackmailed him into going was a bit saddening. Harry looked around the platform, how was he supposed to know this girl? He didn't even know her name. He decided to try and make conversation, he probably would be standing here for a long time.  
  
"How did you manage to get those photo's? I know, for a fact, that my aunt and uncle are very proud of the fact that Duddley made me dress like a woman and walk around on a leash, but how did you get them?" Harry asked. Lupin smirked.  
  
"Muggles are easy to persuade if they have the right... incentive" he said. Harry rolled his eyes and turned and walked over to the soda machine. He had a few muggle coins. He slipped in a few coins and waited for his coke to come out. When it did, he opened it and turned abruptly bumping into a girl.  
  
"I'm sorry" he said as he reached into his pocket to pull out a tissue to wipe the coke off her skirt.  
  
She snatched it from him and he looked up at her, she was glaring at him. She looked around his age with long black hair that was pulled into a messy braid. Her eyes were behind a pair of slim, oval glasses and were a surprisingly bright green that he knew from somewhere. The shape of her eyes was unmistakable. They were narrow, elegant, and long lashed. They were shaped like Sirius' eyes. Harry was at a loss for words. This small, slim, elegant girl was Sirius Black's daughter. **********  
  
"My name is Elsie Black" she said quietly to Lupin and Harry, glaring at Harry. Was she really that mad about coke on her shirt? Her voice was a lot like Sirius', if he had been a woman. Strong, kind, the only difference other then the gender was the heavy French accent. Lupin smiled down at her and nodded.  
  
"I am Remus Lupin, and, as you may have gathered, this is Harry Potter" he said.  
  
"Yes, I'm sorry about before" said Harry. She was a very beautiful woman, with delicate curves and perfectly sized everything's, yet he felt nothing toward her. No attraction, nothing. He couldn't help but ponder this, why was this obviously beautiful girl not attractive to him? He was snapped back into a reality he wouldn't mind being gone from by Lupin calling him.  
  
"Harry, come on, we need to get going to the Portkey, its quite a way if you would remember, so, I'll just go get the car. You and Elsie can wait over here" he said. Harry leaned against the wall, looking over at her. She was leaning against a wall, the only thing she had was a small, torn bag. She was staring at her feet, not doing anything in particular. He shrugged, she didn't seem all that friendly, which was good. He was in no mood to be making friends. He sat down on the ground, his long legs brought to his chest. He sighed, closing his eyes again, hoping to reach through the barrier to Sirius, at least once. His thoughts were interrupted with a strong feminine voice.  
  
"You're not gonna reach him that way" He slowly opened his eyes to see Elsie sitting next to him, her green eyes distant, like a longing to see a place that never was.  
  
"How would you know?" he snapped, closing his eyes again and turning slightly away from he.  
  
"Because, I've been trying to get in touch with my dead mother that way for years" she said, "And I would have tried Sirius but I know that it wont work. I never met him..."  
  
"Well, Sirius might come to me, You didn't know him like I did..."  
  
"I knew him, he wrote to me and I wrote back, even when he was in Azkaban, we communicated, I'm not saying I didn't know him. I just, you know, never met him" she looked at the ground, again her eyes giving away the unhappiness that her strong demeanor hid so well from the world. Her eyes gave everything about her away, just like his did.  
  
"He was a good man" said Harry, "He died nobly" She looked up at him, her eyes full of tears and confusion, as well as somewhat thankfulness that Harry had said anything. "He would have enjoyed meeting you, you are very like him"  
  
"Yes, That's it. I'm very like a man that I never met, a man that didn't even know I existed until I was nearly ten, yes, that man. I am so like the father I never knew its uncanny right?" Her eyes shone in hatred, but the hatred that she was showing wasn't misdirected, it was exactly at what it was given. She hated Harry.  
  
"Look, I was just trying to make you feel better, I don't-"  
  
"Need you to get all angry at me right? That's what you were going to say wasn't it?" she smirked, "Harry, Harry, Harry, when will you learn? People will always get angry at you, and you know why? Because you are 'the boy who lived' you are the one who lives when everyone else dies, you are the one that no one wants to live but you do. Do you honestly think that people would rather you live then say...your parents? Lily and James were more useful to this world then you ever will be, your poor mother, dying to save you. That's the thing that little or no people understand, its not worth it. Your mother died to save you, when you can do nothing you are completely useless to this world and yet she still died for you. So did my father" Harry looked up at her.  
  
"Look, I get it, you hate me, I'm sorry I was trying to be pleasant"  
  
"Yes Harry, I hate you, I hate the fact that my parents died protecting you and wouldn't even come to get me!" she said, tears glowing in her green eyes. A honk was heard in the distance, and Lupin was waving them over to the car. Elsie picked up her duffel bag and made for the back seat of the car, so naturally, Harry went to sit in the front.  
  
The car ride was as awkward as the silence between them had first been. Elsie was sitting in the back, her head looking at her lap and the radio was playing soft oldies. The song 'When I'm 64' came on, and she automatically requested that it was turned off. Harry and Lupin didn't question, and quickly changed the channel and listened to a muggle band named Hoobastank. The portkey was a three-hour drive from Kings Cross. Harry looked out the window, remembering his late godfather. Why hadn't Sirius told him? Why hadn't he been trusted enough to know that it was ok for him to know that Elsie existed. **********  
  
Upon their arrival to the school, Harry and Lupin had to escort Elsie to Dumbledore's Office. He made sure to take a small detour so he wouldn't have to listen and gave the excuse that he had to use the loo. He turned the corner that lead to the boy's toilets and then felt himself collide with someone. A pair of strong arms grabbed onto his shoulders to keel him from falling. Today just isn't my day with walking! He looked up to apologize to whomever he had just run into but changed his mind upon seeing who it was.  
  
"Watch where you're going, Potter, you'll hurt yourself" said Draco Malfoy. His hands were on Harry's shoulder, holding him off the ground. Harry turned bright red.  
  
"I'll make a note of it Malfoy!" Harry said, pushing Draco's hands off him. Draco's face wasn't the same normal sneer it always used to be, it was like he was effected by Sirius' death as well. Harry shook himself, then made his way to walk down the hallway. **********  
  
Harry walked into the Gryffindor common room, falling onto his bed. Was he insane? Thinking Malfoy would care about Sirius's death. He sighed, I guess I just want someone who cares... He rolled over and went to sleep **********  
  
The Next day, Harry sighed and walked to his class. Man, he really wanted to just disappear and never let anything happen to him anymore. He sighed as he took his seat in the back of the potions classroom, slowly letting his eyes close. So what if I've been forcing myself to become a Narcoleptic, who cares... He let himself drift into sleep.  
  
Once again, he found himself being shaken awake.  
  
"Hey, Potter, you're on the Slytherin side of the class" Harry slowly opened his eyes to see Draco standing over him. Harry grumbled and closed his eyes again.  
  
"I don't care if I'm soiling your half of the room, Malfoy, but I'm not moving" Harry felt something shift beside him. He slowly opened one eye to see Draco sitting next to him. "What are you doing, Malfoy?"  
  
"I said, that you're in the Slytherin side of the class, and the only reason I cared was because, if you haven't noticed, you're in my spot" said Draco. The room filled out, and soon Harry was barked to wake up by Snape.  
  
**********  
  
"Now, class, these two ingredients when mixed together make a very usefule sedative..." Snape droned on and on as the class tried their best to stay alert. Harry looked away from his notes, onto Draco's parchment.  
  
Draco was doing something Harry never thought he would see what he did, Draco was...drawing? It was a very good replica of what Snape would look like with a pole shoved up his ass...it looked like a pole was up its ass...(The pole up that man's but must have a pole up its but!) Harry sniggered. He took out a small piece of parchment and wrote on it in red ink.  
  
Nice Drawing, its so realistic  
  
Draco grinned and wrote back, in green ink.  
  
I thought it seemed appropriate for...Snape in general  
  
Yes, I would have to agree with you  
  
There's a first  
  
Shut up  
  
I'm not talking, I'm writing  
  
And quit finding faults in my stupidity...  
  
But it's so easy!  
  
Stupid prick  
  
Harry was officially offended, he threw the small parchment at Draco, hitting him in the head. Draco read it, then Harry turned away. THWAP! The parchment hit Harry in the head.  
  
The picture now had words to it. The pole said 'God, for being up a man's ass it's not that tight in here...' The second pole replied, 'That's because he's used to have more then one pole up his arse, and you shouldn't be one to talk, someone's obviously not a virgin'  
  
Harry couldn't control it any longer, he burst out laughing, a genuine laugh that he hadn't heard coming from himself in months. Soon after that, Draco too started laughing.  
  
They kept laughing all of class, and when it seemed like they could stop laughing, they would look at each other and start up again. They weren't even paying attention to find out what time they had to show up for their detention.  
  
They stumbled into the hallway and finally caught their breath. Harry looked over at his Slytherin counterpart; the blonde looked up before breaking into laughter again. Draco looked so...different now.  
  
Or perhaps Harry had just never seen Draco before. I mean, yeah he looked at Draco, but now he saw Draco. His eyes were light, and glittering, but still their beautiful steal blue. His cheeked were streaked with tracks that looked like tear tracks, probably from laughter, but they seemed to be from other things.  
  
When he was done laughing, Draco looked back at Harry, but his eyes weren't as happy as they had seconds before. His hair wasn't slicked back either, it was limp, falling over his face.  
  
"I'm gonna go to the library, I'll talk to you later, unless you wanna come along"  
  
"Nah, I'm cool" said Harry, trying to figure out what was wrong with Draco.  
  
"Suit yourself," said Draco as he brushed past the taller boy. Harry grabbed Draco by the arm, making him stop. Draco's monotonous look didn't change, he just stared his cold steal eyes at Harry.  
  
"Are you alright? You look..."  
  
"Depressed?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Why do you care?" asked Draco, turning to walk back down the corridor.  
  
"Because, my life would be super boring if my rival doesn't even prove to be entertaining." He said with a smile, it was meant to be a joke, but now it didn't seem to be one.  
  
"So that's all I am to you and everyone? Just some rival for your entertainment? My life isn't even worth living." Draco snapped away so fast that something silver and metal fell out of his robes. The knife was beautiful, silver and emerald all over, and the tip looked like it had been recently sharpened. Draco scooped up the knife fast, but Harry grabbed his arm faster. Seeker reflexes rock.  
  
"What the hell is that for?" Harry asked, squeezing Draco's tendon to make him let go of the knife. It fell to the ground with a clatter. "TELL ME MALFOY!" Draco shut his eyes tight, tears falling out of his eyes.  
  
"ITS FOR ME ALRIGHT! ITS TO TAKE AWAY THE LIFE THAT'S SO USELESS! I DON'T WANT TO BE THE BOY NOBODY WANTS!" Before Harry could tell what he was doing, he had already pressed his lips to Draco's, tears now running down his face. Draco stiffened, then he relaxed. When Harry pulled their lips apart, he pulled Draco so that he was hugging him to his chest.  
  
"I don't know why I just did what I did" Harry said, running his hand though the blonde's hair, "but I do know that I too am the boy no one wants..." Draco snorted, with what Harry hoped was laughter.  
  
"Everyone wants you, you're the boy who lived Potter, they always want you more then anyone, even my father thought more about you then he did about me..." Harry looked down at him.  
  
"That's what you thought? My god are you wrong. I'm used to give Gryffindor glory, and to look good to save the world...no one wants me, no one loves Harry, the love Harry Potter the boy who lived, no one loves Harry..." Draco looked up then brushed his lips against Harry's.  
  
"I do." 


End file.
